The Blind Date

I told myself that I would only allow myself to grieve for Travis until moving day, perhaps premature, but I was so tired of feeling bad.  I opened up my life to my friends and family for blind dating.  I had never been on a blind date before in my life so I was a little excited to see what would happen.  As I said last time, I was never really a great single person, so embracing singlehood seemed appealing. 

My first set up came quickly, I guess my friends and family were eager to help me move on. . .they too were tired of hearing me cry, whine, complain. . . that is so not me!

I was set up with a guy named Dave, he is super nice, fun to be around, cute. . . this is according to my friend and you will soon learn that I have a very different opinion!  I talked to Dave on the phone to set up our date, which to be safe would be at Starbucks, easy to make a quick escape if necessary and you will soon see it was necessary. 

I texted Dave that morning to let him know I would be wearing a grey skirt and black shirt.  Sounds sexy, right?  Well in actuality, I have lost 13 pounds on the broken heart diet and most of my clothes don’t fit anymore.   I am forced to dress like an 80 year old lady and only wear anything with an elastic waist!  Since I am not retired yet, my closet does not contain a lot of elastic and sadly I only own a couple of skirts that fit. . .

I arrive at Starbucks at the scheduled time and walk in with butterflies in my stomach. . .I am so nervous!  I scan the restaurant but I don’t see anyone waiting for me.  After a moment, I get a text –

Did you just walk in?

I glance around again and still don’t see any possible owner of the text.  I text back –

Yes

Then nothing.  Did he see me in the parking lot and he is not interested?  Ouch!  Is he watching me like a crazy stalker? Creepy!

About 2 minutes later, an agonizing wait for me as I feel my self esteem dropping by the second, the door opens and Dave walks up to me.  He looks me up and down with a grimace on his face, puts out his hand and introduces himself. 

Oh, boy. . . this is not going to be a good date!  He couldn’t even look at me without distaste spreading across his face, oh and you should know that he was not a super hottie either. . .he should have felt lucky to go out with a cutie like me!  But, being a cup half full kind of girl, I slap on a smile, spritz on some charm and get to work trying to enjoy this date.

We sit down and smile awkwardly at each other.  He is obviously not going to make this easy, so I begin the small talk.

What do you do?

I work for Fish and Wildlife.

Oh, that must be interesting.

It is.

Hmmm. . .crickets. . . he doesn’t want to talk about himself, so I will talk about me and see if that gets a conversation going.

I work for a church as the Children’s Ministry Coordinator.  I just started a few months ago, but I love it!  I get paid to have a blast with kids.

Still nothing. . .I will not give up yet. .

Do you have any kids?

Yes

Boy or girl?  How old?

 Boy, he is 15.

Ahh. . I have 2 kids, 9 year old boy and a 5 year old girl.  They are amazing.  It shocks me how different they are.

Oh

I am really trying but I feel like I am talking to a wall.  I tried to get him to open up by asking about his family, his hobbies, travel, sports, the economy, his house (I heard pre-date that he just bought), animals, the weather, the beach, BP oil spill. . . .

But I never got more than one or 2 word answers, it was painful!  After about 35 minutes, I glance at my watch in an exaggerated movement so he would see and gasp at the time (my, how it had flown by!) 

Oh, I really have to go and pick up my kids from school.  Oops. . I may have told a little lie, but I think it was warranted given the circumstances!

Ok

I stand to leave, he remains seated.  Since he can’t bring himself to stand I certainly shouldn’t expect the chivalry of him walking me to my car.  Which I say a quick prayer of thanks for!

Thank you for the coffee, it was nice meeting you.   All while thinking to myself, it was not nice meeting you. . .you suck!  But it just seemed like the proper thing to say.   I make it to my car in record time.  Fortunately I have about an hour and a half before I have to pick up the kids so I can wipe off that horrible date before seeing them.

 Now, if you think that was good. . .wait until you hear this!  I get a little “ta-da” from my phone that night indicating that I have a new text.

It was so nice meeting you today and I would be honored to take you on a second date.

Are you flippin’ kidding me????  Was he on the same date as me???  Is he crazy???  That was so painful sitting with him for 35 minutes, why would I subject myself to that again?  Not sure if I want to respond or not, I remember a class I took long ago about courage.  I certainly don’t have very much courage, but since I am starting to turn a new leaf with an active dating life, I should try to grow a backbone too.  Plus, helping him understand that he is a miserably dull person would be like completing community service, right?

I am surprised that you would ask me on a second date.  I felt like you had zero interest in anything having to do with me or our date.

There. . .that seems fair, honest and hopefully helpful.

I don’t know why you thought that, I think you are beautiful, articulate, engaging and fun.  I would still be honored to take you on a second date.

When I don’t respond right away, I get this text.

Could you maybe pinpoint what I did that made you feel that I wasn’t interested?

Um. . .seriously?  Maybe, your lack of desire to leave your car to come meet me, the disgusted look on your face when you saw me, your complete inability to have any conversation with me, shall I go on???

See, this is why I usually choose the wimpy way out and not respond.  I attempted my community service but now I am going to ignore any and all future messages.   I can’t teach him how to date, I am still in the infancy stages myself and I certainly can’t teach him to be polite. . .that was his momma’s job!

Ahh well my friends. . .date number 2 out of the way and totally blog worthy!  I think I may be sad when I do meet a really good guy because then what will I write to you about?

Adios!