Know How to Make Dating Even Harder?

There is a reason that God planned the order for life- date, marriage then kids because it is really hard dating with kids!  Not only are you trying to figure out if you like this person then you have to think long and hard before introducing the kids to anyone because suddenly their hearts can get broken in the process too.  Add to that after all that patient work, what if your kids don’t like him?  It is especially difficult for me because my kids’ dad passed away a couple years ago.  I do not have the every other weekend free like most single dating parents, my kids are with me all the time.  I have arranged my life around them so much so that my job now includes them as well.  I do love this, however it can make dating tricky because I don’t have a lot of free time to dedicate to dating.  I have found the most successful time for me to date is lunch time.   The kids are in school, ie no babysitter.  I have a very flexible schedule at work, so lunches work for me.  I have found that men do not seem to prefer lunch time as much as I do. . .or care for the kids as much as I do!

Case in point is Andrew. . . .Andrew is a new transplant to Florida.  He has been vacationing here for years but just recently made his vacation permanent.   He is 11 years older than me, which is not my ideal but remember I am trying to broaden my horizons!  Keep those options open. . . you know?!?  He has spent his life as an attorney, but is now waiting for the results of his Florida Bar.  This made lunch an easy date for him as well because he isn’t working yet.

Anyway, we meet at a Vietnamese restaurant he picked out.  Hmm. . never had Vietnamese food before so that was fun.  A little scary because I had no idea what to order, but I kinda like it that he ordered for me.  I like a guy that takes control of a situation!  Anyway. . .back to the moment. . .lunch was great. . .good conversation, good guy, good date.  Haven’t had too many of those. . .as you all know!  Date ended with a quick hug in the parking lot and a nice compliment.

I have had a great time with you and would love to see you again, if that interests you?

In a lineup of all the guys in the world he probably wouldn’t make the top 10, he definitely looked 11 years older than me. . .maybe 15 years older.  But he was a nice guy. . .what the heck!

So let’s move on to the 2^nd date. . . .more accurately the lack there of.  How could such a good date end in nothing?  Ahh. . .enter the children!

Andrew called two days later for a 2^nd date, but the best part was he wanted to get together for a hockey game that night.  Um. . .yea. . I can’t date on short notice.  I had to tell him no. . it sucked because as the words left my mouth, I could feel his interest dissolve, right there over the phone.  Have you ever had that moment?   You feel the words that will disappoint leave your mouth knowing full well that it will be doom for any future? 

Anyway, there was no way I could have made that date.  Andrew pulled together an attempt to sound polite.

Oh, ok. . .well why don’t I call you later this week to see if we can maybe arrange a time to get together.

Oops, there it was, call me later to make a date?  Why not work out a time right now while we are both on the phone talking about getting together?  Oh, yea because you don’t want to because I am not available enough for you!  Needless to say. . .he didn’t call me later that week to arrange something!

So, single parents who are trying to eek out a moment to find your life partner, I feel your pain.  As cliché as it sounds. . .if he is the right guy, he will wait.  He will make it work.   He will be excited about having your kids as part of his life!  I know. .. I hate myself for even writing it and I am hanging my head as I write it, but I must believe that it is true! 
Farewell