So, after some thought and consideration, I thought that my newly appointed dating life was far too funny to not share with my friends and family. Perhaps I could make someone laugh, spare someone from the same mistakes I make. . .who knows!
Let me begin by saying that I was unceremoniously dumped by my fiancé. I was crazy about him, loved him so much and was planning to spend the rest of my life with him. Everyone who met him thought I was so lucky because I got one of the good ones. The Monday following Super Bowl Sunday, I dropped the kids off at school, came home to see what we would be doing as it was his day off. He told me that he was not happy and he was moving out. I asked him if we could talk about it and he replied, there is nothing to say. He left. I didn’t hear from him for a couple weeks when I got an email containing completely generic platitudes. A week later he came over to tell me that his psychic told him that he is not the person who is supposed to raise my kids and he moved his stuff out. (I swear, he had us all fooled into thinking he was a good guy. . .but a psychic???? Really???)
So, now I have moved into the realm of dating. Ugh. . .I am not a good single person. Some people love it and prefer it. Or pine over their single days now that they are coupled up. Not me. . .I am a relationship kind of girl. I struggle with flirting, I ache over rejection, I expect things that I guess are not the norm any longer. . .like a guy being respectful, paying for dinner, good old fashioned wooing. . you get it. But in a relationship. . .ahhh a relationship. . .I am compassionate, loving, kind, mothering (but not in a weird way and not smothering) . I look forward to days at the beach as a family, bike rides to the ice cream parlor after dinner, cuddling on the couch once the kids have gone to bed, little texts throughout the day just to let him know I am thinking about him. Yes, I am very good in a relationship!
The prospect of having to date again has filled me with dread and fear, but I put on my brave face and plugged forward. But where does one meet someone who is not married, gay or crazy? I live in a FAMILY neighborhood, so my community pool is out because they are all married. I have found that Home Depot seems to be teaming with men assumingly not gay? Possibly married and possibly crazy. During the remodel of my bathroom, I did spend a lot of time at Home Depot and was only asked out once, but that was when I was waiting to see if Travis would come back to me so I declined. . .damn him for screwing up what could have been my future husband!!!
My first attempt did come not too long following moving day. Picture this:
I am sitting at Starbucks, just to get out of the house and feel like I was part of a world and not so alone in my empty house while the kids are at school. Sitting beside me is a blond man, perhaps 40, perhaps gay? He seemed to have a very feminine vibe about him. He smiled. I think to myself that he is not really my type, but good practice. . .dust off my flirt to see if I am still capable? Ok, I smile back. He says hi and voila. . .conversation with a man. Albeit, a man I am not interested in dating. . .but still a man!
We go through the basics, what is your name. . Annie, and yours? Michael. Have you lived in Naples long? Blah, blah, blah.
But wait. . .here is where it gets interesting. What do you do? I ask (still on the small talk) to which he replies he works for a golf cart company and he is the district manager covering all of SWFL. Hmm. . .lightbulb. Is Pelican Bay one of your clients? I ask. (For those who do not know yet, Pelican Bay is my former employer. This is where I met Travis but we couldn't date while we both worked there so I quit to be with him and he dumps me, which is why I am home during the week while the kids are at school. For the sake of this story, the most important part is that Travis is the Transportation Manager in charge of all the golf carts. . . Ahhh. . .did you just have the lightbulb moment too?)
Yes. . actually they are one of my largest accounts. Michael replies to me.
Gulp. . .do I ask or do I just want to let it lie? Of course I ask.
Do you know Travis?
Yea, I work with him a lot, you know him too? Michael replies.
Yes, I used to work at Pelican Bay. My mind is racing. . .do I go any further? Tell Michael the truth? Well, let’s examine my options.
1) Tell him that I used to date Travis and then he may be uncomfortable around Travis in the future.
2) Don’t tell him but then he might ask Travis about me. That could be really beneficial to bugging Travis if Michael was super cute. But I don’t think Travis will care because he will see that Michael is not my type.
I opt for option number 1. I tell him that Travis and I used to date, but I do this for a very calculated reason. I am not interested in Michael but because I am not very good at turning someone down, I hope by telling him this he will not be very interested in me! But I will still blame Travis for screwing up yet another possible husband!
Blast. . .it does not work. He asks for my phone number. . now I am faced with one of three more decisions.
1) Give it to him but not answer when he calls – told you I was a total wimp!
2) Say thanks, but no thanks – totally not going to happen, see above at the total wimp comment!
3) Give him the wrong number with a smile.
What do you think I did? I bet you all guessed number 3. . .right? Ha, wrong! I did number 1 with the plan on not talking to him, but I manned up. When he called, I told him it was very nice meeting him, but I was not ready to begin dating yet.
Ok, so the first one was out of the way. . .although it was not a formal date I am still counting it and feeling it was worthy enough for my blog. . .
Caio!
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