Did you know that Chipotle is not only the best food EVER and food with integrity, but it brings people together too? Yes, it is truly an amazing little place in the world and I am so thankful that one opened here in Naples. Not only because I plan on eating there everyday. . .hmm, may have to get some after I post this. . but because it opened a door for me.
When I was with Travis we took a trip over to the east coast and I introduced him to Chipotle. He said he loved it as much as I do (which we all know is impossible!) but it became a favorite for both of us. He knew full well that I would be eating there regularly once it opened here and I assumed he might pop in there a few times as well. Little did I know that it would be the catalyst for us talking again.
Now, remember. . .we have not spoken to each other in MONTHS. Even in the days following him leaving me, we didn’t talk. Our entire break up and all subsequent conversations would take less time than going to the movies. So us having any conversation is huge and again began because of our love of Chipotle!
I texted him to make sure that he knew that Chipotle was open. I felt I had to but I was so nervous to hit send. . .I got a message back from him very quickly
I’m heading over there for lunch now!
To which I replied. . .looking for a free lunch. . .but totally kidding.
You remember my order right?
Then the shocking happened. . .
I’ll get you one, but you will have to pick it up. . .it will be here for 15 more minutes.
Hmm. . .not sure what to think about this, it is lunch time so is he there with a group from work? Am I just supposed to drive by and pick it up, like McDonalds? Are we having lunch together? I really don’t know what to expect when I pull up but I see him sitting outside, looking amazing with 2 burrito bowls and drinks in front of him. He is dressed in casual clothes and by himself.
My heart leaps a little bit and I am so painfully aware of each step I take toward him. I feel like my legs are jello and I am SO worried of tripping over my feet. My mind jumps to my appearance because I didn’t have time to go home and pretty up! But, having just come from work, I was looking fabulous and this was my eat your heart out moment. . . look at what you missed out on.
Fortunately, he was as nervous as me because I felt his heart beating out of his chest as we hugged hello. Neither of us brought up anything from the past few months. We steered clear of that topic as much as possible, except for a couple digs I threw in just to make myself feel better, like –
I'm sure you did some retail therapy following our break up. . .this is what I got as my retail therapy. He says as he pulls out an I-touch from his pocket.
I respond with No, since I quit my job to be with you and you walked out, I couldn’t afford retail therapy!
Rude, I know. . .but I just had to say a little something. Other than that, it was a beautiful conversation about life, travel, friends, the kids, we just seamlessly fell into a great conversation with each other. I felt very California and new agey by being “friends” with an ex that broke my heart. Very therapeutic!
I was feeling so glad that I met him, until. . .
He walked me to my car, we hugged and when I pulled back to end the hug, he didn’t let go. I pulled my face back a little bit and said.
Oh, crap. . .you are going to kiss me.
And he kissed me. Oh, it was such an amazing, comfortable, sweet kiss that was flooded with memories of our past life together and the pain between us.
Then I didn’t feel so California any more. . .I was jolted back to being the neurotic self that I am. What did the kiss mean? Did he want to get back together? Was it just habit? Is he hoping to hook up with me? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN????
I needed to get some perspective. . .I told my neighbor Sue everything that happened and pleaded with her to help me understand what it all meant.
Well, maybe it meant nothing.
What. . .how could it mean nothing? Now I feel like a loser. . .why did I kiss him? Oh, but it felt so good to kiss him!
Ok. . .maybe it meant something. . .maybe he does want to try to work it out. . .
Hmm. . .do you think she might be trying to stay neutral??? Of course, I know she doesn’t have the answers. . .there is only one person who holds the answer of his intentions and I certainly can’t ask him. Although we had a great lunch. . .it probably didn’t mean anything. It was probably just as therapeutic to him as it was to me and now we will go our separate ways a little more healed than we were the day before. Perhaps I have to make peace with the fact that I may never know what that kiss meant or maybe I will get an answer and some understanding. I will just have to wait and see what it all means! And that means, you will have wait as well, my friends!
Adios
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