Black and White

I have a great new guy for you to go out with, he is handsome, funny, so smart and he always smells good.  He has his doctorate and is a retired pro football player.  I think you guys would be great together but I have one question for you. . .

Ok. . .he sounds amazing so what’s wrong with him? I reply hesitantly.

How do you feel about dating black guys?

Uh. . . um. . .I have never dated a black guy before.  In fact I have never dated anyone who isn’t white. . . But why not, I’ll give it a try.

Good. . I will give him your number.  I am so excited about this and I think you will love him!

So this is how my newest dating adventure started.  I don’t think I have a problem with dating some who is black, but I am nervous because well. . .right off the bat there is a big difference between us.  But as I have been learning throughout this journey. . .I am willing to try anything and see what happens.

The next day I get a voicemail from Matthew and he has a very deep and sexy voice.  My friend Karen that set up this love connection also told me that he is tall and super muscular, match that with his sexy voice and I was definitely interested in seeing what he looked like. 

But getting to find out if there was a love connection turned out to be harder than I thought with my new smarty footballer.  After 5 days, 10 calls and a bunch of voicemails we still have yet to talk on the phone, live and in person.  We decided to switch to texting since that could be done anytime. . .anywhere.    But even that seemed to run hot and cold with him. . .one day I would get –

Thinking of you today. . .can’t wait to meet!

Then the next day I would get –

I bore easily, since we can’t seem to connect I think we should back off.

Ugh. . .really. . .not loving that!  But then he called and we talked and it was good!  We spent the whole evening on the phone talking about everything from our kids to our jobs to our families. . you get the idea!  And we planned a date for Friday night. . .my friend Karen aka the matchmaker offered to babysit,  I had my outfit planned and  I was ready to try something new. . . but then he canceled.  He had to go out of town at the last minute for work and would not be home until late Friday night.

The sweet texts started again.  I was bummed that he couldn’t make it but then he sent me a pic. . .ok, I think I could maybe live with his business trip because he was cute and muscular and had a great smile.  He asked for a pic in return and I obliged. . .

You are so beautiful

Yep. . .I really am stinkin adorable!

We decided to reschedule for Saturday night. . .Karen was free to babysit on Saturday night too. . . so we were all set and I was again excited to see what would happen. . .but then I got -   

I can’t make it tonight. . .got sick last night so I can’t make it.  Some other time?

Well. . .that just seems like it is too much for me.  He had been running hot and cold this whole time but then to be ditched two nights in a row?  Really?!?  Was I being too high maintenance?  I remember when I had my first date with the kids dad, he was sick but he went anyway because he didn’t want to cancel on me and make me feel like he wasn’t interested.    Is it too much to ask for that again? 

I decided that there was just way too much drama involved before we even met. . .if we did develop into a relationship. . .how much drama would there be then?  I think WAY too much for me!  So, I sent him a text  (since talking on the phone was still too challenging)

I really enjoyed talking to you but I don’t think we are a good match.  I was looking forward to meeting you but you seem to have a lot going on. 

To which I got this nasty reply –

I only spoke with you on the phone once and I really thought you were a good hearted person.  We both know that if I was Tom Brady instead of being black I would have been considered worth the wait.  I am old enough to know that when it’s all said and done, it was my color that was the problem.

Um,  really?  What an insult. . .if I had a problem with the whole black thing, then I would have never agreed to  start talking to him.  No, really this has to do with me wanting what I want. . which is a guy to sweep me off my feet!  I don’t want to be kept waiting, I don’t want to feel like he will want me one day and not want me the next day.  Maybe for some that is too much to ask but for the right guy. . .it will come naturally!

So. . .I never got my chance to find out if it is true.  If what is true, you ask?  You know, the old expression. . .”once you go black you never go back!”   Hehehe. . .but you never know what the future will hold!