Friend Factor

I have heard so many times in life and in so many movies that guys don’t want to fall into the “friends” zone.  If a guy likes a girl then he must play his cards so that he doesn’t become just a friend.  You know, can’t wait too long before moving in for the kiss, can’t be too compassionate about a break up, “forget” the name of boyfriend/ex-boyfriend on purpose. . .

So, how’s Peter?

His name is Patrick. .

Oh, right. . .whatever  It’s all orchestrated to diminish Peter/Patrick!  Yes, guys. . we are on to your tricks!

Anyway, I am not sure I buy into that theory myself because Travis and I were friends for years before we started dating. He says he was always more than a friend, but nothing happened until we officially started dating, so technically, he should have been lost on lonely friend island forever.  But I knew that I was drawn to him that whole time and then it finally worked out that we coupled up.  I think that for me at least if I like you then no matter if you are an old friend or a new acquaintance I will know if I want to date you.  It may not happen right away, but I hope it happens sometime!

But now, I find myself wondering if the same friend factor works in reverse.  Can women fall into the friend zone to their male friends and be stuck there forever?   I have a male friend that I suddenly decided that I have a crush on. . I have known him for a long time but now I am looking at him in a whole new light.  I have been seeing him more and more lately which is when the newfound spark ignited.   However, he has a girlfriend and although I want him to be happy, I also just want to see if there really is something between us.  But, is it possible for me to fall strictly into being just his friend?  I listen to his stories about his girlfriend (and horribly ask questions about her), his family, his job.  I am a good listener, supportive, compassionate and I wonder if that is the direct route to you know where. . . If I continue in this fashion, will he never see me as anything more than a good friend?  Will I be the person he calls on when he needs to talk about his problems or needs a ride when his car breaks down or watch his dog when he takes the GF out of town for the weekend?   

I am not a home wrecker so I can’t encourage a breakup and like I said, I really do want him to be happy.  But should I change my approach to avoid ruining any future or should I just enjoy our friendship and maybe someday he will see me as someone special?  I just hope that if that day ever does happen, I still have this crush.  Is it possible that this crush is just a by-product of bad dates and a twice broken heart?