In preparing for house guests, I was forced to clean up my back bedroom which the kids affectionately call the “junk room”. I am embarrassed to admit that I have lived in my house for a year and eight months and still have boxes to unpack. Instead of unpacking them, I just put them in the junk room until I feel compelled to look through them. Well, now is the time. . .
As I was unpacking, I found an old journal. . . .needless to say I had to sit and read a few pages of who I was and what I was thinking back in 1994. My oh my. . .I am so different now than I was at 20! Maybe one day I will share some of those stories, but for the purpose of this blog, we will talk about my list. You know, the list we all have of what qualities we want in a partner, what are negotiable and what are complete deal breakers! Let’s compare 37 year old Annie with 20 year old Annie and see how many of the items on my list still apply today and which ones I was completely off my rocker!
Necessary Qualities –
1994 2011
Must have sense of humor Always good to make me laugh.
Cannot have bad temper Yep, don’t want an angry Santa.
Must have dark hair Really don’t care. . .kinda like bald now!
Wants kids/good with kids Required that he must like kids, but can’t want any more because I can’t have anymore.
Cares about the environment Yea. . .I still like that one.
Has direction in life Hopefully they have found their direction and at our age are not still searching for their direction.
Can laugh at himself Want him to laugh at himself and lovingly poke fun at me!
Qualities I would like, but not required –
1994 2011
Financially secure Hmm, I wonder what that meant when I was 20. . .did it mean just having a job? But someone good with money is important to me now.
Older than me but under 28. I was willing to go 8 years older than me back then, which I will still consider but I have now learned my lesson in dating too young. I want someone from 35 – 45. . .younger than that means unsure of what he wants and older than that means grandpa!
Has a drivers license Um, yea. . .that is pretty important!
A good relationship with his parents A guy who is good with mom and dad can melt anyone’s heart!
Educated I would say that still applies, I like me a smart guy (notice the grammar in that statement. . please note it was done on purpose!)
Absolute Deal Breakers –
1994 2011
Heavy Drinker Glass of wine occasionally, sure. Beer with the game or with wings, ok. . .but I still agree a heavy drinker is a deal breaker.
Heavy Smoker I guess in 1994 smoking was ok for me as long as he didn’t smoke too heavily! Any smoking is a deal breaker for me now.
No Drugs Right. . .no drugs!
Cannot be anal I think this was fallout from my completely OCD dad! But I guess it still applies.
Cannot lie or steal I remember exactly where this came from. . .a guy asked me to dinner in college and when the meal was over he told me to go out of the restaurant first and when no one was looking he would dash too. I said absolutely not and forced him to pay the bill. . . he didn’t ask me out again!
Wow, that was an amusing exercise in my development and maturity. It was fun to look back at what was important to me 17 years ago and which ones still apply to me now.
I guess when I find someone great, I will know by the connection between us and not base everything on a pros and cons list. But let’s keep this list handy and when I tell you all about a new guy that I am interested in dating more than once we will do a quick run through of the checklist!
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